finding words

As of 9pm last night, I am an elected official in the NYC Democratic Party – a County Committee member in good standing. If you’d asked me a year ago if I’d consider running for office, I would have rolled my eyes. And months ago I’d never even heard the term “county committee."

But here I am.

This past presidential election galvanized me. I’ve become a full blown, almost full time activist, finding my way to places and groups that feel like the right fit, where I can contribute and help.  

Trust me, none of this was easy.

I remember being at my first rally, a support for Muslims, in Washington Square Park, feeling uneasy and uncomfortable, not knowing what to do or say.

Walking into my first democratic club meeting I was painfully aware of how little I knew, and wondered if I’d ever be able to catch up.

I had poster anxiety, feeling what I was putting on signs wasn’t fully expressing my outrage and frustration. Those days of painstakingly cutting letters out of glitter paper are thankfully long gone.

I created Trump Puppet Theater and almost daily put images and then videos into the world. I started the Shame Campaign and provided ways for people to share and write. I founded a secret facebook group, as a place people could privately vent and panic.

And while I often felt inadequate, uneducated, insecure, I kept showing up. 

Even with all that, and until now, I was frozen inside, not able to write anymore. Writing was the way I’d processed major experiences in my life: publishing my dream book, donating a kidney, surviving parenthood. Words on paper (or on screen) helped me cope and handle situations that were otherwise overwhelming. But this time I couldn’t.

Instead, I acted. Protested. Attended countless meetings and rallies. I phone banked, got signatures on petitions. I do a weekly events newsletter for one action group. I’m on another's communications committee and emergency response teams and am working on their website, an online store. I help with signage, marshal at protests and rallies. I design for the my local democratic club. I put tougher a one sheet sharing info about County Committee.

I even filmed an inaugural You tube video about local politics with elected official Ben Yee – we’re hoping to make this a regular thing.

And I woke up today, ready to write again. Part of me regrets not having chronicled all that got me here. But more importantly, I’m grateful to have found my voice, and to have been able to find a place in the resistance.

Welcome to my so-called activist life.